Good day to you all and hope you’re all doing spiffingly. I’m sure you’re all very pleased to see that the alliteration is still flowing with full force here in the blog titles. Following on from last week’s Venice blog, I’m here to tell you about a little day trip Alan and I made to Verona while we were there. Not that Venice was shit or anything, but we both feel it’s important to tick as many holiday boxes as possible within the given time constraints.
For the jaunt, I wore this rather smashing little gold number that I purchased in Crosby Oxfam. I got it a good year ago and had never
worn it because when the hell would I wear gold? I’m always doing this, buying finery and forgetting that 95% of the time I lead an extremely uneventful existence.
Another reason I hadn’t worn it is because for a very long time, I wasn’t sure what it actually was. I was with my chum Sarah when I got it and we chewed the fat for ages about whether it was a sleeveless coat, a long waistcoat or a dress.
The jacquard fabric threw me into confusion as it was so weighty. It seemed a tad too robust to call itself a dress, but then if it were a coat, why the lack of sleeves?
Then I spotted a belt which had been hanging inside it; the item was moving towards dress status with every turn.
I’m still not completely sure of its genre to be honest but whatever the fuck it is, I love it and it was perfect for exploring one of Italy’s most beautiful cities.
After hopping on a hop-on, hop-off bus, we started our day at Juliet’s balcony and I paid 6 Euros to walk up a flight of stairs and act all melodramatic at the top. I added an ‘o’ to the end of Alan’s name to make it Italian and lamented, ‘Alano! Alano! Wherefore art thou Alano!’
There is actually a video of this, but unfortunately the sound quality is piss poor and I was totally drowned out by the throngs of babbling tourists below. I’m fuming about that to be honest, but at least I can say I did it and that’s one less thing on my bucket list.
After I had completed this essential life goal, we bought a Verona fridge magnet from the tat shop which was conveniently located in the courtyard below. Despite Italy being a veritable hotbed of culture and beautiful historic shit, it also properly excels at tat. We came home with a whole range of gaudy souvenirs including some terrible underpants which will be featured soon in an upcoming blog. I can’t even explain how bad they are and I think I’m pretty good with words!
Also a must when visiting Verona is giving Juliet’s boob a quick squeeze. Alan informed me that this is an important tradition and that so many people had done it, Juliet’s right knocker had started wearing away! Lo and behold, there was an actual queue to grasp her metal mammary and it really isn’t considered weird, perverted or just plain wrong at all!
To avoid looking like an overdressed meff, I toned down my golden outfit by layering it over a stripy top and leggings. I decided I probs wouldn’t get away with jewellery with all the glittering and iridescence that was already going on so I stuck with one simple accessory - a hair bow.
This was actually made by my Mum in a craft workshop and I love it. Not only because it was a handmade gift but because it’s quite a weird design and the elastic is about ten feet long. Also it looks like it’s a hybrid of an accessory from the 80’s and also something a children’s fairy tale character would wear. I am all about that life folks!
Due to problems with the hop-on hop-off bus timetable, the language barrier, the street signs and a hefty dollop of some general stupidity, we didn’t actually make it to our next planned destination which was the garden overlooking the whole of Verona.
Thank God there were lots of other amazing things to see instead like the Museo de Canonicale above, which we stumbled across by accident.
Perhaps the most surprising thing about it was the old guy around the side who nearly robbed us. He started out like a humble beggar but my intuition was en pointe that day and he was just a little bit too close and a little bit insincere to be legit. Almost convinced us as he was down the side of a cathedral, but nothing gets past the Rochemeister!
I wish I could finish by showing you some excellent shoes, but the truth of the matter is my feet were screwed after the first day of walking around Venice and the only footwear that didn’t cause me to wince in agony were these £6 Primark trainers. Not even the fashion blog is worth suffering actual pain for, so I hope you’ll forgive this rather sudden nadir in content.
To make up for it, here’s a juicy close-up of the ‘money shot’ and I think you’ll agree that Juliet enjoyed this fondling just as much as I did 😀
Swing by next time to take a look at some of the swag I brought home from Venice, including THOSE underpants!