The snow glowed white on the grass that day, lots of footprints to be seen, a kingdom of ice and trepidation, plus a coat you've never seen..
I'm scared of ice kingdoms and so is Alan for that matter, but for your comfort and enjoyment, we made like Torville and Dean to bring you this week's fashion blog.
I'd been saving this vintage suede jacket for 'something special', but then I realised this was a very stupid philosophy. I don't often do special things, so it was going to waste. Also, I could be dead tomorrow and then what would become of my jacket?? I decided that NOW was the time to don this remarkable 80's beauty and as soon as I put it on, I was living my best life.
I bought the jacket from a vintage 'weigh and pay' store in Manchester last year but due to the vast timescale which had elapsed since its creation, the colour had become somewhat tired and lacklustre. Also, it stank. I was forced to take an action that I NEVER take, which was to send it to the dry-cleaners. Usually I would never buy anything which needed dry-cleaning as I'm just too stingy, but in this instance, I was blindsided by the utterly amazeballs nature of the jacket and didn't notice it was pongy and minging until I got home. I thought it would be worth a tenner or so dry-cleaning costs on top of the £15 I paid, to end up with a truly spectacular coat.
HOWEVER - when I took it to the dry-cleaners they said it would cost a whopping TWENTY-EIGHT POUNDS to be cleaned as it would require a specialist suede cleaner!!! I was all ready to go home and lash it in the machine, except the dry-cleaning lady and Alan both thought I should give the jacket the love and correct cleaning it deserved. After I somewhat reluctantly signed a form to say I wouldn't sue if they fucked up the suede, I paid the extortionate fee and went home to lie down and have my corsets loosened.
A week later, my jacket was returned transformed!! It was totes worth the extortionate cleaning costs. I felt amazing and resplendent when I put it on, it smelled fragrant, beautiful and sublime. I could take on the world in those shoulder pads and not just the world of 80's revival parties.
My power flurried through the air as I spent my pounds, My soul was spiraling in frozen fractals all around, And one thought crystallised like an icy blast, I'm never going back, the stink of the jacket and my frugal ways are both in the past!
I realised I needed to address this belief that paying for dry-cleaning (or anything over £20) is bad. I needed to LET IT GO.Although I am very careful in vintage clothing emporiums now and always give everything a good sniff before I commit to a purchase.
Now that I've got the expensive purchase out of the way, let's go back to talking about the cheap as chips stuff that comprises the rest of my outfit.
I'm not normally one for skirts, but if they cost £5 in the Primark sale, these rules can be relaxed. Especially if they are pink and iridescent, with creases forcibly set into their construction which negate the need for ironing.
To match the snow, I added this cream cable knit jumper which was bought a very long time ago for £10 from a shop called Ark on Bold Street in Liverpool. Ark closed down over 5 years ago, but because I'm a bad hoarder, the jumper is still here and eventually it will be older than the ark because I refuse to ever get rid of it.
I also stuck with my snow/cream theme for accessories with a vintage bag I got from eBay for six quid. After careful consideration of my handbag situation, I couldn't help but wonder why I use the same one all the time. I realised it was probably because I'm very lazy and can't be bothered venturing into the back bedroom to traverse the terrifying mountains of bags. But for this blog readers, I made an effort. Not much of an effort as I literally picked up the first one I saw, but it was an effort nonetheless and I hope you appreciate it.
I do love a vintage bag, but they certainly run small. All I could fit into this was my phone, keys and a fiver, but as I was only going to the park it didn't matter. I imagine the 1960's lass who owned the bag also had to pare down her contents to just the essentials of rouge, contraceptive pills and her husband's signature to open a bank account or line of credit. Thank God we were born in this day and age gals! Although I can imagine that I would have simply forged my husband's signature if I'd been around in times of yore. I used to forge my Mum's signature to get out of P.E at school and was never caught out! The trick is STEALTH and PRACTICE, anyway, that's for another blog!
For my hat, I donned this woolly, bobbly number, which was a steal at £3 from Primark. Alan LOVES this hat. He says the colours of the pom pom remind him of Fruit Salad sweets and I completely concur. What could be better than a hat that reminds you of sweets? Not much, except maybe a hat that's made of sweets? Food for thought, lol!
Another stellar Primark purse-pleasing purchase were these white ribbon trainers for £8. Sadly, the fur doesn't go all the way inside but this is only to be expected from a bargain footwear establishment. They are still pretty damn warm though, we were out in the snow for over an hour and I managed to retain circulation in my trotters the whole time. This is in fact a miracle, as I always have cold feet, even when the rest of me is hot and sweaty. Apparently this contravenes the second law of thermodynamics, but I LIVE for breaking the fundamental laws of physics and I just love proving that my total isolated entropy CAN decrease over time!
And last, but definitely not least are my sunglasses which were another fantastic bargain at £5 from Camden Market. I wouldn't normally do the sunglasses in winter thing, but the sun was so dazzling I decided not to risk retinal damage for the sake of a fashion blog.Also, they look cool and I am all about that life.
Let it snow, let it snow, I am one with the wind and sky. I have sunnies, so you'll never see me cry. Here I am in the light of day, let the style storm rage on. The cold never bothered me anyway!
So that concludes this week's blog! Tune in next time to see if I got busted for plagiarism and/or lack of Harvard Referencing by Disney. Also, can we give a special shout out to Alan this week as he went arse over tit whilst taking these photos! And some pensioners laughed at him!! (I of course, did not) Plus, there was a giant rat near the lake which he was a wee bit scared of...